I feel horrible...

I woke up this morning with a fever and throbbing, pounding headache. So I have stayed home from work but being sick isn't why I feel so horrible. Jason just left for work and he took Brianne to daycare. I feel like a bad mom!! I'm home and she isn't here with me! This is the first time in 5 months I've been home alone and I should be in bed, resting up, trying to feel better but instead, I'm crying and worrying and typing this. I know that I feel too bad to have taken care of Bri by myself today and I really really don't want her to get my cold. But she has that ear infection and is taking antibiotics so maybe that will protect her... I don't want to take any chances though. And the worst part is that when I was changing her diaper and getting her dressed for daycare, she was laying on the floor on her blankie and started coughing, no big deal since she has had this cough for a while now. But then the cough got worse and she got real red, so I rolled her onto her side in case something came up so she wouldn't aspirate it. Well sure enough, she started throwing up (or spitting up) alot! I didn't even have her diaper on her but I picked her up and she threw up all over me and just kept coughing and coughing. Finally, she stopped and caught her breath and there were little tears in her eyes and she was red and made this sad little whimper... So now I feel very terrible about her going to daycare and me staying home. I am not going to be able to rest now because I'll be worrying about her. And since we only have one car, I can't go and get her... But before they left, she did start smiling and playing with her feet so that must mean she feels better right?

She'll be okay at daycare right? They will check on her if she starts coughing like that again right? I called my mom and she said she will come and get her out of daycare when she gets off at 2 so she won't be there as long. I feel like since I'm a mom I shouldn't show weakness but that's how I feel, weak. How can I make myself stop worrying about her? And Jason has been sick too and he hasn't missed any work but here I am at home! And our first anniversary is this weekend and we had made big plans for tomorrow but now with me being sick I don't know if we'll do anything but lay around the house, all of us being sick. And this being home alone business has given me flashbacks of being on bedrest already. Who would have ever thought that staying home from work sick would make me feel so much worse. I need to rest...