Yes, I know, it's been a while since I've posted but having a newborn in the NICU keeps you busy (and exhausted). My sweet little Brianne was born at 7:31 PM last Wednesday March 17th which was St Patrick's Day!. She was 5lbs 1oz and 18.5 inches long. She is absolutely gorgeous and her birth was probably the most amazing and emotional moment of my life (to date). So, let's see... Where do I begin?
The doctor's came and got me for my induction at 6:00 am on Wednesday morning. They wheeled me to the Delivery room and checked my cervix for dilation. I was already at 3cm so they didn't give me the cervadil, just started me on an IV of Pitocin. The wait was on... The nurse came in every 30 minutes and increased the pitocin and it wasn't long before I felt my first real contraction - not so bad, very mild and tolerable... My parents arrived at about 10:00 am and then they too were playing the waiting game with us.
At around 1:30 pm they checked me and I was 4cm dilated so I decided it was time for my epidural. This was what scared me the most about giving birth. The two anestheilogists came in and showed me how to sit and curve my back while my husband held me up. This wasn't good. It hurt. When they stuck the needle in to numb the area, I got weak and light headed and nearly fainted. So they had me lay on my side and put an oxygen mask on me and instructed me to breath deeply. About 10 minutes later I was back to normal but they were afraid to try again with me sitting up so they decided to do it with me laying down. Can we just say OWWWW! I did not like it at all! And to make matters worse, the guy who actually did my epidural was a student! I was frightened! Then came the catheter, which was not pleasant either but I was able to cope. Once it kicked in, I was better and could no longer feel my contractions, or my legs. Jason was in charge of moving them for me since I had no control. But, after a couple hours, I noticed I could feel and move my left leg but not my right one... uh-oh! Something is wrong!
The anestheologists came back in to check me and said it was a gravity issue and that I needed to roll onto my other side. I did and still nothing changed. I continued on with only my right side truly numb until around 5:00 pm. My doctor came in to check me and I was still only 5cm dilated. However, she noticed alot of scar tissue around my cervix from my LEEP procedure and so she proceeded to "break up" the scar tissue with her fingers! This hurt! Epidural? What's that? She also manually broke my bag of waters since they were still only partially ruptured... what a weird feeling! At this point, my parents and my mother-in-law decided it was time to eat. They went down to the cafeteria and we said we would call if anything changed... Something changed!
About an hour later, around 6:30 pm, my pain was unbearable! I was nearly screaming in agony "Something's wrong! Somebody help me! Why isn't anyone helping me" so Jason called for the anestheologists and they came in to find out why I was feeling so much pain. Well as it turns out, it wasn't contractions that I was feeling, but it was the pressure of the baby, she was trying to come out! The doctor came in and checked me and sure enough, I was fully dilated! It was time to start pushing! I went from 5cm to 10cm in about an hour! I told Jason to call my mom and she was there in no time. It was time for the hard part...
There was chaos and commotion all around me. The team of NICU doctors and pediatricians were behind a curtain waiting for Brianne and I had 2 doctors delivering the baby, my mom holding one leg, Jason holding one leg and my hand, two nurses helping to tell me when to push and giving me ice chips and my dad, hiding behind the curtain waiting to see Bri. I pushed for an hour and the entire time I just wanted to give up and keep her in there forever. Everyone kept yelling at me to push but it hurt and I was screaming "I can't do this!!!!" but finally, they saw her head. I reached down and touched her little head and it gave me strength! She had hair! So I pushed with all my might and after 6 or 7 attempts, she was here!!!!!!!! Ah, relief!
I couldn't really see her when they held her up because I had taken my glasses off and I was scared because I didn't hear her crying! They whisked her away to behind the curtain to the NICU doctors and I was crying and Jason was crying and my mom was crying... I did it! Finally, I heard her first little cry and it was all okay! Jason continued to hold my hand but was watching what was going on with Bri assuring me she was okay. Meanwhile, I was being cleaned up and stitched up (only 1) and still crying of course. They brought her around and let me hold her for like 15 seconds before taking her to the NICU. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen! Even with her little oxygen hoses in her nose, it was love at first sight! And they took her from me! No bonding, no nursing, no intimate moment of her and me and Jason, they just took her! But I know it was to make sure she was okay but it was the hardest thing ever. I wouldn't see her again until midnight...
Here she is!
And this is her the next morning, no longer on the CPAP, laying on her daddy!
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